Saturday, January 28, 2012

Bulan Bintang


Bismillahhirrahmanirrahim..


this few days, ibu and babah has always popped out in my mind.
because i've been so rebellious over so many things,
being so sensitive-more to childish i would say -_-", so hard to please of,
and the worst daughter i think people could be.

i totally understand and realise that everything is my fault,
but sometimes, i just keep on bringing up issues like i know everything,
sedangkan, in the end, i know that is MY VERY OWN FAULT.
and even if im right, cant i just bertolak ansur?
be fair syamim..
arghhh, why do i love to get into fight??


ive been so careless in taking care of their hearts walhal i know that once people get older, they become even more sensitive. i have even filling my time reading this kind of stuffs in hope for me to be more aware and more understandable, yet still no changes.

rasa berdosa. im guilty.


:(





i just went back from sending off ibu n babah to erl - they're going to Surabaya.
i cant believe i cried.
this may be the feeling ibu has always said but i had nver cared to feel.

sedey :(((



"Ya Allah, kasihanilah mereka seperti mana mereka telah mengasihani ak sejak dari kecil,
permudahkan perjalanan mereka,
selamat dari marabahaya" amin.


p/s: why do we always hurt someone we love so much??




Thursday, January 26, 2012

Salah faham

Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim


Misunderstanding? yes, happened all the time. And this time around it's about how wrongly i interpret the link between imaan and ukhuwah.

Like we always heard,

ukhuwah itu buahnya imaan.
(imaan membuahkan ukhuwah)


the analogy is simple. imaan is the root and ukhuwah is the fruit. If we dont have the root, good root, we dont get good fruit. easy right?

so, basically, imaan comes first!

the thing is, i have always thought that all the things i did are because of Allah which later i discover that NO. NO, i did not do it for Him but rather me using Him for the sake of something else for example, all the nikmat like ukhuwah..


can you understand me? this is so unexplainable in written form -_-"


i believe the cycle should go like this.
by knowing, trusting, believe and have faith in Him,
do as He said,
will eventually increase our imaan,
then, the reward of the imaan,
we'll get more friends that are just like us.
SEFIKRAH.
yg kita cintai dan juga mencintai kita kerana Allah.
solely because of Him
kerana Allah lah yg telah menyatukan hati2 kita :)
and the cycle goes on...



but, i misinterpret it to be this way...

i skip the step..
what have i thought??
dare to know the consequence? - kat bawah

where's the imaan then?
without imaan, we can never get the sweetness of ukhuwah.
manisnya persaudaraan sefikrah.
we cant skip the step..
it goes one by one..
again.
the REWARD of imaan is ukhuwah.
it is a REWARD.
ukhuwah itu hadiah utk mereka yg beriman.
how can you be rewarded if you didnt do what it takes?
Allahuakbar.


“Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang beriman itu adalah bersaudara, maka damaikanlah di antara dua saudara kamu (yang bertelagah) itu; dan bertaqwalah kepada Allah agar kamu beroleh rahmat.” (49:10)


"Jaga diri, jaga iman, kerana itulah yg mempersaudarakan kita keranaNya"


Allah kata, "orang2 mukmin itu bersaudara", arakian, kalau ada masalah ukhuwah, check balek 'kemukminan' ada masalah ke tak. Bukan salahkan org ini org itu..-APG


somewhere i read: hadiah ukhuwah dari Allah ini mmg exclusive utk mereka yg bersahabat atas dasar iman dan akidah.


Tajdid niat. Luruskan niat. biarlah segalanya hanya kerana Dia. Bukan kerana dunia ini. As for me, my attachment to this dunya is just too strong, the chain is hardly detached! Astagfirullah.


consequence: im at down..
ye sebab i love them more than i love Him.
and that's wrong :(
im still learning. Mujahadah.
letaklah dunia ditangan
akhirat di hati..


this is just what i thought from my personal experience. could be wrong. pls enlighten me :)

doakan ak.

p/s: i know others wont understand this. that's alright. this is my problem -_-", iman ak yg compang camping, iman ak yg lelah, iman ak menjauhkan kita. pls forgive me.

Tajdid niat.



Lari


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,


ketika rasa celaru bersarang,

ketika rasa sedih datang tanpa diundang,

ketika hati berbolak balik,

putaran silam menjengah,

sebak mencengkam dada,

perit merawat luka,


titisan tak lagi mampu bertahan,

rebah, tersungkur, mengharap pada manusia,

mungkin terlupa,

manusia memang manusia,

sama seperti ak, fitrah jiwanya,

masih umbang ambing..

maka ketika itu, kalau masih lagi terlupa, lalai, leka,

kita ada yg Maha Kuasa,

pemegang hati, pendengar setia utk hamba yg hina,

curahkanlah, beritahulah,

Fafirru ilallah – berlari pulanglah kepada Allah!


Mt. Cradle (kot) view from Tazmazia, Tazzy



feeling-feeling


This post is somewhere on last December.


view from a ferry to cockatoo island, sydney.


I just got back from USKAB. usrah kabilah for people who dont know ;) .ehemm, the very late notice for this event has made me think twice whether to go or not to go. Alhamdulillah, fitrah manusia itu inginkan kebaikan, lalu ak tepiskan segala kenervesan (should i even feel nervous -_-”) dan sebenarnya sejuta kemalasan..

kerana Allah memilih kepada siapa Dia memberi hidayah, maka kita-kita yg terjebak dalam tarbiyah nie, bersyukurlah. Allahuakbar, pengisian USKAB tadi sgt2 menyentuh jiwa dan segenap hati. Im not sure about the others, but ‘dust fills my eyes’ a few times. and i am actually very2 excited during the discussion. inilah ak sebenarnya. sgt sukakn usrah, merindukan usrah :(

macam selalu je sebenarnya kita kupas ayat al-hujurat (49:12-18). tp setiap kali kita korek lagi ayat tu, terlalu byk macam lagi tambahan yg kita dapat. Al hujurat sendiri bermaksud bilik2 rahsia. (the chamber of secret #okbye). Allahuakbar. entah kenape, rasa macam menusuk bila tahu maksud dye.. and baru tahu yg in general, that surah talks about hubungan dan ukhuwah sesama manusia. Cuba baca terjemahan, semuanya berkitarkan apa yg kita sebagai manusia should treat our friends and people surrounding us. I nvr realise that. maen baca je :(

teringat diskusi ringkas dgn ukhti nuhan last nite 49:12 – ttg persangkaan.

trying to relate with 49:15, apakah ciri2 org yg bertakwa?? checklah 3:134

iaitu org yg berinfak baek diwaktu lapang dan sempit, dan org yg menahan marahnya dan memaafkan kesalahan org lain dan Allah mencintai org yg berbuat kebaikan.

ehem, tahukah anda? why sometimes we find it hard for us to please Allah.. utk beribadah, malas nak bgn qiam padahal dah terjaga pun walaupun dah berazam sblm tido (it’s me :( (() .. – sebabnya, dosa2 kita telah menghalang kita dari membuat mende2 baek. perangai buruk, buat jahat, bergaduh ngan org sana sini, Astagfirullah. nmpak sgt solat wajib tu tak berkesan lagi, sbb karat2 jahiliyah tu masih melekat terlalu kuat :(

but, but…

Mujahadah itu mmg bukan mudah. selagi terdaya teruskan. and actually, Allah really looks at the effort not the result. MasyaAllah, betapa Dia ingin memberi kebaikan pada kita hamba2 yg hina nie. SEMOGA ALLAH REDHA :D


p/s: wordpress is not that easy to handle. still learning.

Kalau ditakdirkan, perpisahan itu yg terbaek utk kita, Ya Allah, ak akan belajar redha… papepunn imissyou dearly <3

seminggu cuma dan akan pulang ke maktab T___T

dekli kene tegur, terus diam dia..li, jgn diam ngan akak li huhu



tukar

in the name of Allah The Most Gracious Most Merciful


i dont know why, but i feel like changing the url and i just did!
maybe 'running away' wont solve my problem but it feels good sometimes, somehow :)


i change the name! hehe
dark or light jr. why jr.?? because i hve another account with this name. and it's private and it meant a lot for me. my 2years life journey back in oz. suka, duka, kecewa, harapan, everything.

maybe this so-called-new-account would treat me well ;D
actually, i did have a wordpress account and yeah, it's good! real good, it's just that im better with blogger than wordpress, so, some of the old post from there would be transferred here in a few minutes. and the wordpress will be deleted right after that.

everything here is about me reflecting myself. i hope i can be better :) insyaAllah. pray for me <3



Charlie 2

lagu emo dimalam hari lol







p/s: emo yg emotional not emo punk or whatsoever

hepi CNY :)

i miss you guys, thnks for being so wonderful :')

update soon- tmrw insyaAllah