:D

The only person that i need to be right now is the better me than yesterday. Seriously, i don't need comparison :) but for all, thank you!

Bismillah utk hari2 practicum seterusnya! yoshhh kame kame haaa

At times I feel that the sun is hidden by a hazy sky

And the lights around me hide the moon at night

I know that you are closer than the veins that keep me living

Cause all around me I feel your mercy

Subhanallah <3

p/s: meeting jenny and pamela really makes me feel better :)

Wahan

ini cerita tentang seorang budak perempuan, dia nie boleh tahanlah rajin jugak solat diawal waktu.. kalau tgh buat esaimen ke, tgok tv ke, tgh shopping ke, terus dia berhenti jap sebab nak solat. yelah, solat awal kan baik, lepas solat siap2, byk benda lain boleh buat, boleh makan, tgok bola, main netball, sambung shopping dan macam2 lagilah..- dia cakap.

tapi, satu hari ditakdirkan satu barang berharga dia rosak. lama dia cuba repair barang dia tu. lamaaaa sgt dia rasa dah tak sabar. barang tu sgt berharga dan sgt penting dan sgt urgent! dari malam semalam dia cuba, hari nie cuba lagi..tak jugak elok2..'Ya Allah, dugaan apa nie?, dahlah baru beli yang baru sebab yang dulu rosak..pastu nak rosak lagi ke?' 

dia tak berhenti, cuba jugak repair. mmg tak boleh. nak putus asa, tapi tak boleh. sebab baru beli. sampailah hari ini, dari lepas zohor smpai ke asar dia cuba lagi, tak tidur  sekejap pun walaupun mengantuk di tahap dewa dah. tapi bila nak dekat asar tu, ngantuknya tak terkawal, sabarnya tak tertahan, dia pun ambil keputusan utk tidur tanpa bersolat asar; sedangkan azan baru saja berkumandang...dia kata, dia penat, kenapa Allah tak tolong dia? kenapa rosakkan barang dia? kenapa? kenapa? kenapa? byk sgt kenapa smpai dia rasa kecewa. dia ambil keputusan utk tidak solat asar (yet) sebab marah sgt, ngantuk sgt, tak sabar sgt.. :(- kesian dia, wahan dah mengikat hati dia!!!! Allah :( kesian sgt kat dia...

lepas tu, dia terbangun tidur ada org kejutkan dia, tanya pasal barang berharga dia..dia bangun merungut2 barang dia rosak. (sedihnya, dah dapat hidup semula pun taknak Alhamdulillah :(..) orang tadi tu, tgok2 barang dia, tadaaaaa, dalam masa kurang dari 20 minit, barang dia dah sembuh! dah boleh pakai! dia suka sgt, dia happy, dia sebut Alhamdulillah...

***************************************

nak tgok ar-rahman ar-rahim nya Allah tu, hambaNya tak solat pun lagi, siap marah2, siap merungut2, dari sebelum tidur smpai bangun tidur...tapi, Dia hantar seseorang utk tolong hamba Dia tu.. Dia biar hamba dia gembira, Dia buat hambaNya semyum lagi..

tapi budak perempuan tu, apa balasannya kepada Maha Pengasih?

p/s: dicengkam wahan. tak tahulah org lain macam mana. tapi keadaan sgt kritikal, genting, sabar dah kurang, amal merosot..memang patutlah kau syamim. 

sesi muhasabah dan mujahadah

week 2

mungkin, praktikum kini, adalah masa utk ak mula kembali mencari diri,

menilai sejauh mana tarbiyah yg cuba digenggam erat- membawa kesan, atau hanya omong kosong.

praktikum kini, perang yang bukan perang fizikal. tapi perang mental,

sejauh mana ak bersedia utk menempuh fasa baru dalam kehidupan.

masih bergelar pelajar, masih bujang, janganlah mengeluh panjang.

mungkin nanti, sudah berkerjaya, berkeluarga, perangnya bakalan lebih panjang,

tak nampak penghujung.

dugaan kita berbeda2, tapi, sakit utk empunya badan mungkin sama saja.

jadi, jangan putus asa.

sabarlah. inikan baru minggu kedua :)

p/s: curi2 masa update blog. sibuk betul dengan duniawi. sabtu nie dah ramadhan, harap dipermudahkan utk menambah pahala berganda bonus. yeahh strive for it!

duhhh

it has been a week of practicum. out of the room as early as 6.30am and coming back as late as 5.00pm has made me drain out of energy. i have a lot to say but i just cant write many now, because school gives me fever and cold and sore throat. im so pathetic T__T.

Ya Allah, keep me strong and healthy.

Tonight

Tonight, i predict myself will barely sleep with closed eyes. I predict that im not gonna have a 'good-night-sleep' before it's even started. The practicum. It's tomorrow T.T..and i have this very overwhelming feeling right now that i feel like my heart is going to explode real soon. BOOOOOM! ahhhhh. im so terrified. The fact that my heart berbolak balik less than in a blink of an eyes is quite expected but im just not ready for it yet. oh no. i feel like "oh no, im gonna die". okay, big lol for me. i wake up this morning with lots of thinking

of what im gonna do tmrw? 

what should i bring? 

should i prepare a pre-lesson plan? 

what im going to wear? 

what kind of teacher should i be, the fun one or really fierce? 

can i even be a fierce teacher? duhhh

should i even bring the teaching aids on the first day?

 what time should i wake up for tmrw? 

what im gonna do with my small voice? 

will the students mock my voice? 

ahhhh. the thinking does not seem to stop till now. those silly questions and answers session in my head is doing no good. then i remember,

haha. stop worrying syamim. because the only thing i should be doing now is waiting. JUST WAIT. tp penantian itu satu penyeksaan.haha

okay, though i expect the worst to come for this prac, im just gonna try to enjoy it and beat the pressure professionally.

hasbunallah wa nikmal wakeel <3 cukuplah Allah sebagai penolong dan sebaik2 pelindung. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan Syamim dan Haziqa Anis serta seluruh manusia lain yang sedang berusaha dan bertarung dalam segala apa jenis bentuk pun. Kerana praktikum kali ini adalah salah satu perang utk kami, Ya Allah, berilah kemenangan utk kami, tenangkan hati kami, tautkan hati, lembutkan hati anak2 murid kami, supervisor kami dan guru pembimbing kami, berkatilah masa kami, redhailah usaha kami sebagai pendidik anak bangsa.

Semoga Engkau redha dgn usaha kecil kami.

NAK JADI HEBAT KENA SABAR!

things ive been doing lately is to constantly remind myself that everything that surrounds me is the tarbiyyah. for me to be better, to be more considerate, to have more patient, and foremost is to make me closer to Him. never regret. Ya Allah, make my heart grow stronger, tougher and healthier. People, make du'a for me plsss :)

p/s: to monologue is my pure talent

practicum is next week. this blog could turn out to be a teacher's- to-be  reflection thingy.