metacognitive

figure 1

despite all the hectic-ness im living in now, i found it irresistibly calming for me to write. coz i know that would be one time when i wouldnt even have time to write at all. let say, when i start my practical next semester. okay, maybe it's not really a buzy life im living in right now. maybe, it's just me who make up stories about how busy my life is. lol. should i?

well, have you read that, figure 1? *penangan research project* yeah, it says if you took a risk and no matter how it will end up, you'll never regret it coz at least you know you'll end up that way. and these few months, i've been up thinking about things that i regret not doing back in my last 2years. i regret T.T. i regret it so much that i cry sometimes thinking about it. coz i will never know what will happen if it take the chance :(

i regret. why didnt i take the chance back then?

it was in front of me. right in front of my eyes.

why was i so rebellious, so hard, blind perhaps?

what makes me shutting off my eyes? arghhh

and i keep on thinking, if only i had one more year, i will take the chance. i will make it right. maybe, i'll be stronger. but, sadly, i dont have it. i dont have another year for it. all i have now is everything i have here.

*this is when metacognivite applies*

to think back again, that is all not my job. it's The above's job and all i have to do is to obey it. the fate and destiny that had brought me here and for everything that last back then had made me who i am today.

never regret.

it must be the best ever plan He planned for me. maybe, if i were to take the so-called-chance last time, i wouldnt be the person i am today. and there are only 2 possibilities which i could be better (which i think make sense) or even WORST. and that's the scary part of life, coz you can never predict the future.

again, in reflecting my not-yet-long life journey for the time being, i think, i should not think anymore about this thing *tongue twister kehkeh*. tak elokkan berkalau-kalau. berkalau-kalau tu kan mainan syaitan. and i better off here and stop thinking about my own thinking. owh, metacognitive is giving me a hardtime sometimes -_-"

p/s: i wanna stop babbling in my mind. duhhh.

Ya Allah, ak hanya mampu bersangka baik dgnMu :) sesungguhnya, Kau sebaik-baik perancang :)))